My husband and I have been married for a couple years now, and I feel like every day it gets better and easier.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking – “good for you” – cue Kristen Wiig’s famous “you doooo” scene from Bridesmaids….
But really! I am telling you the truth!
Let me explain.
A while ago, I came across a post during one of my many insta tunnels. Which, if you don’t know, is when you open ONE reel and somehow an hour later, you’ve ended up watching a BILLION. Has this happened to you? It’s so easy to do, right?
Anyways, the post said something along the lines of – when having a conversation with someone, or in our case sometimes more like a vent session – ask whether the person wants sympathy or a solution.
This way of thinking before responding has been amazing for us. A game changer in a lot of ways.
First, it makes you take a minute to think about a response, not just a reaction. Second, it lets the other person know you are still listening to them, and WANT to respond.
Having a partner or a “your person” type of relationship is so amazing for many reasons. One of the perks I love most about it, is having that person to talk about anything with. My husband and I are always there for one another, and our ability to incorporate communication hacks as we’ve grown together – has made us more in sync.
Using the screening question of whether or not the person wants the other person to just hear them out (because sometimes that all you really need), or help them find a solution, has helped dodge unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings.
During Covid, we realized just how compatible we were. I mean, what better way to find out if you’re a match than a global pandemic that forces you to spend every waking minute together?
But for real, having these little conversation tools like the one I just described has made us better at communicating and much closer.
Adding a child into our lives and the way we communicate has also been a huge learning curve. One we have truly enjoyed of course, but a learning curve nonetheless. We’ve had to redefine our lives quite a bit, but more on that another time…
So, if you have a person you like sharing your world with and your stories – you are a lucky duck!
And if you think that “your person” doesn’t know how much you appreciate them, let them know. It never hurts to remind them.
Try this out. Sympathy or Solution? So simple. So easy.